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Chinese New Year's Resolutions
by Beni 
Without any doubt, the hardest part about going to Cambodia is coming back. There's the 12 hour jetlag. There's the fact I almost inevitably return with a cold and have to take much care to eat well and not get sick. And the fact that my fridge is empty. Also, I find that there are small but important elements of my life back here in the US that suddenly seem intolerable.
Follow up:
After my very first trip to Cambodia, when I came back the thing that was most intolerable to me was that Subway sandwiches cost $4-$5. Five dollars! Five dollars for such bad food! In Cambodia, I could get a plate of fresh, home made yogurt with granola, fresh papaya, pineapple, apple, and dragonfruit, and honey-lime dressing for five dollars. I remember wandering about the streets of Hyde Park, trying to find something good to eat that cost less than five dollars...
After my trip last year to Cambodia, I remember that the thing that was most intolerable to me was that my commute was so long and that it seemed so hard to meet people. It takes me 45 minutes to get to work! That's 45 minutes I spend frittering away, blankly staring at the ceiling. God, what a way to spend a life. And why do I have such a hard time meeting people in Boston? I don't mean love interests--I mean anybody. Just going to hang out with friends requires an e-mail, a phone call, an appointment, and a 45 minute commute. There's no, oh, just go to XXX place, everybody shows up there eventually. In Cambodia, that place would be a cafe. Possibly even a bakery. Or a bar. In Boston, I imagine it would be a bar. But I don't hang out at bars in Boston. See, if I had a little motorbike, I could zip around and....fall in the ice, most likely. I seriously considered moving to a different neighborhood, but ultimately decided against it.
Usually this is what happens. The intolerable instinct kicks in, and then I settle back into old habits.
But this year, after I got back from Cambodia, I came back to my house and thought that everything was intolerable.
For instance--why does it need to take me so long to figure out what to make for dinner and lunch? Why does food have to be so difficult and fraught with decision?
Why do I spend so much time agonizing over budgeting for the gym, choosing a gym, going to the gym? I hate the gym. I've never liked the gym. Even when I got a fancy, expensive membership to a gym, I thought it was boring. Why bother? Why guilt myself into thinking that I need the gym? Why not just go to dance and yoga classes, which I know that I like?
Why do I cramp my workspace all onto this tiny makeshift sewing machine table that is about the size of a nightstand?
Why do I try to cram all my clothes into this tiny, crappy Ikea dresser where the drawers keep falling apart?
Why do I bother urging myself to go on dates when I am not interested in dating and find the whole process rather tedious?
Why are all my winter clothes at least 3 years old and falling apart?
Why is my work time so disorganized?
Why do I have so many crappy books?
Pages: 1 · 2
02/20/08 01:01:27 pm, 
6 comments
Carry on.
I have absolutely nothing constructive to add, but I just wanted to say that I love reading Beni's posts.
Totally agreed.
Actually... You mention that you thought about moving to a different neighborhood. If you can't stand the long commute, why not do it? Assuming the answer is money, is it enough that you don't value the time you'd save enough to compensate, when you think about it? (Sorry, a bit of economist there.) If it's the fact that there's no better neighborhood because you work and play in different places, that's more complicated.
But I live in an area that is about 15 minutes from 'play' so it isn't that bad. And the rent is cheap, and the apartment is nice.
If I were to move to the area that I'm thinking of, my commute would be only marginally shorter (and far more crowded) but I would be in closer proximity to younger people, less toddlers, and more bars and restaurants that I like to go to. My living expenses would increase by about 60%, and my leisure expenses would increase much more too.
However, in terms of quality of life, it may be worth it. I am still considering this.
My other issue is that I dislike Boston enough that I hate to think of living here in terms of longer than 6 months. So I hate to think about moving and signing a lease for an entire year, when I would rather just leave the area entirely and be done with it. I am really trying to get over my dislike of Boston, but I find that it is fairly deeply entrenched.
For instance, one reason why I prefer to live in the cheaper, quieter neighborhood is that it allows me to afford plane tickets to fly out of Boston on a much more frequent basis. I try to go out to a different city (NYC, Chicago, Miami, I'm going to Bologna next month, Wash DC, wherever I can just get out of here) far more often. Forget the mountains and the leaves. I want out of New England.
If only life could be as easy as advertised.